dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
