he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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