i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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