so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
