I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
