You can't special order awesome
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
