The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
