im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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