Sponge bath it is.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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