It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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