i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
