Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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