She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Soap is not a condiment
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
