forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
