i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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