Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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