"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
