she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
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