allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
