my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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