yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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