my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The power of my boobs compel you
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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