Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
