we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
