I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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