I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
