When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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