Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I need moral support for this bender
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
