Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
