I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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