Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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