i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
