It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
