Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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