I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
