I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
