she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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