i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
