Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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