If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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