If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
