hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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