I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
