we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
