Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
