She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
