Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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