I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
