so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
