wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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