On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
